Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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