is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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