You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize