Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
