please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
