Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
