should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize