Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
