Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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