There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So squirting runs in the family.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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