mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize