I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
only if we run a train.
done.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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