Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize