Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
