Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize