But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
