So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize