Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
