Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
