so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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