yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
