CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
