I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
