you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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