and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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