How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
