You're completely useless in the revolution.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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