you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
