$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
