I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Boobs speak an international language.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
