Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
