I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize