You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
