I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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