and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize