Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
