Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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