belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
