hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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