I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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