Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
