I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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