Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
