I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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