Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
