I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
