This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize