chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm too high and old for this...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
