i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
