I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
