I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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