xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
