Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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