Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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