I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
