well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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