I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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