You're earring is so big in my mouth
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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