I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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